Back to School
Joseph Neil McGinnis III FROM THE EXECUTIVE EDITOR EMERITUS
I hate to utter those dreaded words in a fun magazine like ShowSight but the fact remains: summer’s over. Oddly enough, I never minded going back to school because a) I liked school and b) I carried my summer spirit with me year-round. (Still do.) But in keeping with the spirit of the season, I wax didactic this month. The following lesson will serve to examine our sport in a new light. Note: pay attention. There WILL be a test. DOG FANCIER’S DICTIONARY ANGULATION: degree to which we will bend over back- wards to impress the judges. BALANCE: how to arrange the checkbook so your signifi- cant other, non-doggy, will not know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bath- room or garage behind locked doors. BITCH: a) a word used to describe a lady dog; b) activity indulged in, in the grooming area; c) word often heard ring- side, not always to describe a lady dog.
Photo: Romeo and the editor ca 2011 by the late Duane Doll
MASK: what to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.
COAT: hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out one week before the National.
MUZZLE: what to put on your kids at dog shows to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him or her last night.
DAM: a) a lady dog with children; b) an expression frequent- ly overheard ringside.
NOSEPRINTS: cute marks left all over the French doors.
ELBOW: method of getting to the steward for an armband when late to the ring.
OUTCROSSING: What your partner tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the stud dog and the bitch.
EXPRESSION: Sweet, loving look on your dog’s face which you think is for you, but is actually for the chunk of bait in your pocket.
POINTS: minute, invisible credits for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes (or groceries). PUPPIES: small, dog-like food-processing machines with the ability to mess up an entire house and collectively out- shout a band of magpies. These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky plumbing. They can also be extremely dangerous to adoring humans and their bank accounts. Original author unknown, but thanked; slight edits/addi- tions by yours truly. As any dog fanciers knows, if we’re smart, we never quit learning. With eyes and minds open we can continue to give these great canines and this sport the white-glove treatment they so richly deserve. We here at ShowSight wish you good luck in the ring, in the whelping box, and in the living room. Until next month, remember: ShowSight Magazine wishes you All The Best!
FANCIER: degree to which some exhibitors dress more than others.
FEATHERING: what winners are accused of doing to judges’ nests.
HEEL: a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you just sold to an eager novice b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf-acting dogs.
HEIGHT (as in “maximum allowed”): a measurement under which all champions fall by at least 1/8 of an inch.
HOCK: a way of financing your dog show hobby by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings or gifts from mother- in-law. KENNEL: a) where you go whenever there’s a domestic disturbance at home; b) what very often used to be called the “garage”.
JOE MCGINNIS, EDITOR EMERITUS
LITTER: trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show (shame!).
14 • S how S ight M agazine , S eptember 2018
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